My daughter Lee and I were at Ronald Macdonald house one night just after we had had a very scary time in I.C.U with our little one Jake. A nice young man with a can of wild turkey in his hand started talking to us asking how Jake was and telling us his little boy Damien had had open heart surgery and to was in I.C.U but was doing okay. Adrian was in the pram beside him at about 4 weeks, of course I asked if I could have a cuddle. Amanda came in later and we had a long chat as you do in Ronald Macdonald because everyone is there for a sick child.

A couple of days later Damien came up to the same ward on 7^th floor as we were in with Jake. Amanda told us Damien had been sedated but still wasn’t sleeping. They told us Damien had gone for a few days with out any sleep last time he crashed. I never thought any young child could go without sleep longer than a day and even that was pushing it for an 18 month old. We were at the hospital early in the morning to late at night for the next three day Damien only had about 6 hours slept. Amanda looked like she was going to collapse at any moment but just kept going. The nurses bought a bed in for him instead of the cot he was in. Amanda climbed in beside Damien, he curled her hair around his little fingers as he always did with his mum and dad cuddled in and went to sleep. Needless to say mum did to.

After a couple of day sleeping on and of Damien was feeling a bit better . The doctor okayed him to have a small amount of milk in his bottle , well I have never laughed so much he grabbed the bottle so excited he couldn’t find his mouth . It was in his eye and all over his little face, we were all laughing at him but I think a lot was because he was allowed to be a normal little boy who just loved his bottle instead of the tube feed. To see his mum , dad ,nan and pop laugh with the biggest of smiles on their tired faces was just priceless and some thing I will remember for a very long time. Damien was playing peak a boo and smiling heaps for the next couple of days. Then we were at Jake’s side and Amanda said she was very worried about Damiens colour and his breathing, she said I just know something is wrong. The nurse called the doctor in and then the specialist came to see him. Lee’s and my heart were pounding  we were so scared. Damiens doctor came back in next minute his nurse called the M.E.T. team. Damien had stopped breathing. They revived him and that little guy gave the fight of his life to come back, he was then taken back to I.C.U. Amanda was with me, we knew what they was going through because we had been through the same thing a week earlier. Thank God when Amanda and Dale came up to let us know Damien was okay resting quietly. Little Adrian stayed with me to young to know what was happening.

Just a few days later Jake was allowed to go home after 10 weeks, we went to say good bye to Amanda, Dale and of course Damien and Adrian. Damien had returned to 7 West. As we left and for every day after I prayed for this beautiful family to get a good break and be able to go home. I keeped in touch with Amanda, our little guy had another trip down stairs to I.C.U and then back to 7 West. I received an email saying Damien had been given up to 12 months. This broke my heart, and then I told myself a lot can happen in 12 months, he’s going to come through Amanda and Dale didn’t deserve this they had been at Damien’s side day and night and the love was unbelievable . His whole family didn’t deserve this, I didn’t deserve this. We were ever so blessed to save our little boy now I just needed the same for this totally devoted mum and dad.

The next email was “We are home YAH”. Thank God I thought Damien can play with his dog and they can be a family. Dale and Amanda can now get some well

deserved sleep. Please let there be a miracle.

The next email was to tell me Damien had passed away. He was only home for a week but I bet it was a great week for him . No needles and drips, no doctors or nurses, even though the nurses are absolutely beautiful caring people and Damien won some hearts there to. I don’t know how they do the job they do because I seen how much it affected them when Damien was so sick and crashed. He truly will be remembered by a lot of people.

We said our see you later little man at his funeral. He looked so at peace, and didn’t go alone because I truly believe he took a little bit of all of us who knew him. And he will always be with his beautiful mum, dad and little brother .

As I said Damien I will never forget your strength courage and that gorgeous smile of yours. You and your family taught me so much and because of that I say thank you.

Play with the other Angels and be happy, keep and eye over Mummy Daddy and Adrian and nans and pops. Remembering you always forgetting you never beautiful baby. Love always Trish.xxx