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Damien's Habitat...

8th September 2005














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  September 8th
 
  We had a bit of a shock yesterday when we were visiting Damien.They were about to remove the ventilation tube and put him on the 'CPAP' , we said cool no worries we will get out of your hair while u do that.It was just as we were leaving that the nurse said to us that they werent sedating him for the removal of the tube.This did concern us a bit as we dont want him to get distressed we asked if he would be ok without any sedation and they assured us that he would be fine.Thats when one of the nurse's mentioned that if he had heart failure or respiratory failure that they wouldnt be resuscitating him...........WHAT THE F### !!!
 As u can imagine we were and still are very shocked we didnt know what was going on...We have not agreed or signed anything for that too happen.We are still coming to terms with the fact that theres nothing that can be done to save our little boy....We know where the hospital stands with Damiens well being but im sorry we arent ready to just give up on our son yet.....He still has a lot of fight in him and he is still full of love and smiles for us.....I think that this really brought us down to earth as to what we have to face and the decisions that have to be made....And im sure we will do the right thing for him but it will be when we are ready to make that decision...
 Im sure it was all a big misunderstanding between us and Dr Lara Shekerdemian
and the night doctor that was on came and spoke to us and reassured us that if anything was to go bad they would do everything to get him back.He was very understanding and could see the shock on our faces and knew that we werent ready to make that decision yet......
 Last night I was sitting on the front porch of our house Damien was sitting and swinging away in his swing that his aunty got him for X-mas.Nicky was lying there soaking up some  34c sun  and i was sitting in my fishing chair drinking a can of 'Wild Turkey' , We had Metallica blasting the neighbourhood and we were all awaiting the arrival of Amanda who was due home any minute with some take away.....
 I awoke to the sound of a helicopter arriving here at the childrens...
  "Its Meant To be"......i have heard that comment a few times now and will probably hear it more as time goes on....
Missing a train and suddenly bumping into someone that u havent seen for years...yeah thats meant to be....
  Cutting your finger open with a knife Becuase ur not paying attention (like i did this morning) yeah thats meant to be....
  Watching your baby boy writhing in pain not ever giving up on life no matter how times he has crashed always smilng with so much love to give and so many people that love him Than being told that theres nothing that can be done for him......
       Nah thats not meant to be....
       And it just not #%#@#^ Fair....
        I dont care what any #%#* says
 
                                ...a very pissed of dad...